Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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