I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
