sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
