i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she smelled like a LAN party
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
