I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
