Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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