eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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