How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
