I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We are all done wearing pants today
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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