omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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