lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
