it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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