She said her name was "party"
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
