if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
