Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
