you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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