i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
