sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
