it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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