Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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