you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
