I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
