ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
