just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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