dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
