Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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