OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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