return my video game
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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