just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
