Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
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