you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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