I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
