need another drink. this is the easiest way
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
