Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
