the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
