sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
