You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
