So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
