This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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