Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
