everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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