She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
