it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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