when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
