ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
