3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
