come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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