remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
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