He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
