hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
