doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
