Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
